在面对分居或离婚的挑战时,我们必须以孩子的利益为重,确保他们能够平稳度过这个过程。我理解这对于你们来说可能是一段艰难的时期,但请记住,首先要告诉孩子们,他们深深被爱,这一切并不是他们的错。离婚并不代表个人失败或羞耻,而是家庭中的一个选择。在这个过程中,我们需要建立一致的育儿模式,让孩子们感到安心,并继续拥有属于他们的快乐童年。我们鼓励你们与另一方父母保持联系,让孩子们知道他们仍然深受父母们的关心。 离婚对孩子的 十要: ◆ 请告诉你的孩子,你爱他们,分居或离婚不是他们的错。 Do tell your children that you love them and that the separation or divorce is not their fault. ◆ 让你的孩子放心,离婚不是个人失败的标志,也不是羞耻的原因。 Do reassure your child that divorce is not a sign of personal failure or a cause for shame. ◆ 从分居开始就建立一致的育儿模式。 Do establish consistent patterns of childcare from the beginning of the separation. ◆ 让你的孩子继续做一个孩子。 Do let your child continue being a child. ◆ 鼓励你的孩子继续与另一方家长保持关系。 Do encourage your child to have a continued relationship with the other parent. ◆ 建立并维持一个平静的气氛和稳定的环境。 Do establish and maintain a calm. atmosphere and a stable environment. ◆ 做到与父母双方保持定期的联系模式。 Do maintain regular patterns of contact with both parents. ◆ 将你们分居或离婚的情况以及生活安排的任何变化告知孩子的老师。 Do inform your child’s teachers about your separation or divorce and about any changes in living arrangements. ◆ 让另一方家长参与孩子生活中的重要决定和事件。 Do include the other parent in important decisions and events in your child’s life. ◆ 继续向您的孩子保证,即使您和另一方父母不再在一起,你们双方将永远爱他们、关心他们。 Do continue to reassure your children that even though you and the other parent are no longer together that both of you will always love and care for them. 离婚对孩子的 十不要: ◆ 不要在孩子面前进行敌对的、骂人的争吵。 Don’t have hostile, name-calling fights in front of the children. ◆ 不要要求你的孩子选择他或她更爱谁,或者他或她想和谁一起生活。 Don’t ask your child to choose whom he or she loves more or with whom he or she wants to live. ◆ 不要让你的孩子觉得他或她在父母之间穿梭。 Don’t let your child feel like he or she is being shuttled between parents. ◆ 不要利用孩子作为情感支持,或作为你倾诉深沉秘密的对象。 Don’t use the child for emotional support or as someone in whom you confide your deep, dark secrets. ◆ 不要试图通过阻止探视来伤害你的前配偶。 Don’t try to hurt your ex-spouse by discouraging visitation. ◆ 不要说关于你前配偶的负面消息,即使你确信的认为这些消息是真的。 Don’t say negative things about your ex-spouse even if you feel strongly that they are true. ◆ 不要利用你的孩子来向你的前配偶传递信息。 Don’t use your child to deliver messages to your ex-spouse. ◆ 不要阻止另一方父母的亲属接触孩子。 Don’t prevent the other parent’s relatives from having access to the child. ◆ 不要让探视或监护权的问题与配偶和子女抚养费的问题挂钩。 Don’t allow issues of visitation or custody to become linked with those of spousal and child support. ◆ 不要阻止前配偶给孩子钱财和礼物,更不要借孩子名义向前配偶勒索钱财。 Do not prevent your ex-spouse from giving money and gifts to your children, and do not extort money from your ex-spouse in the name of your children. |